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Looking in the Mirror

Robert Holden, Ph.D.

To know what Self-acceptance is, you have to be willing to try it at least once in your life. Self-acceptance is the experience of seeing yourself as you really are, without any criticism or attack, and without any demands that you should be something more, better, or different. To see yourself, without any judgment or recrimination, is life-changing, because when you do this the self-image that you made disappears and in its place your original, unconditioned Self returns.

"The Mirror Exercise" is literally the most confronting exercise we do. The exercise is done in pairs: Person A holds up a mirror in front of Person B, and then Person A invites Person B to take 10 minutes to describe what he or she sees in the mirror. Logically speaking, you might not think this simple exercise would merit any strong emotional reactions, but it does. Indeed, many people find this exercise so appallingly difficult that they hyperventilate, squint, squirm, retch, cry, and look away. Remember, all they've been asked to do is to describe what they see.